“The Science Of The Perfect Handshake"

Vanessa Van Edwards, author of Human Lie Detection & Body Language 101, had an interview with Am northwest in 2015. She says, "A lot of how we judge someone's personality is based on their handshake,". She runs a human behavior research lab in Oregon and is just as in love with the science behind human interaction as I am. If you want advice from someone who has years of backed research, then continue reading.

Here's How To Improve Your First Impression

I can really connect to Vanessa iconic saying, "I'm a recovering awkward person". I often struggled with social interaction growing up. I've gotten a lot better but on occasion, I just can't seem to pick up on the flow of a group setting. 

 Have you ever said, "Um...so how are you?" in hopes to get to know someone better? And then start zoning out, hoping you aren't too awkward, then forget what they said and can't bounce off it? Yeah, its happened to me too. Watching Vanessa's "How to" videos on overcoming social anxiety for the past two years has taught me a lot.

  There's always room for improvement. Heres a post about one of my favorite interviews that she's done, It's helped me improve my confidence when meeting new people and I hope it helps you too!

"Those first few moments are more important than anything you can say in your elevator pitch"

No Wave, High Five, Or Fist Bump...

  Vanessa talks about the importance of "touch". She says that when we shake hands a chemical called oxytocin (The cuddle hormone) is released, your brain goes "Ah, this is someone I have to make a connection to!". Shaking hands makes the foundation of connection and trust.

Always Go Vertical!

  The worst thing you could do is flip someone's hand to where the inner part of their wrist is exposed. When you do this that person's brain makes a mental note that you want to be in charge. There is no equal respect between the two parties when someone starts a handshake offering their hand "wrist up" or "flipping" someone's hand.

Eye Contact Is A Must

  "If you're shaking hands with someone and you're making eye-contact you get double the oxytocin." this is making an even stronger relationship when shaking hands. It's also where she mentions "those few moments are more important than anything you could say in your elevator pitch." If you meet someone who looks awayduring a conversation a red flag goes off in your head. You subconsciously think that this person is up to no good.

Like A Hand Hug

  When you squeeze someone's hand it should be very relaxed. "If you don't give that firmness back it's like you'r saying, 'I don't want to have that intimacy.'"

A Trick For Sweaty Palms 

Trick#1: If you have pants on, carry tissue paper in your pocket. When you're about to reach for a handshake dry your hand off in your pocket first.

Trick#2: If you are at a networking event or a date, have a glass covered in a napkin to easily dry off your hand before going for a handshake.

How Long To Shake Someone's Hand

  It depends on how much time you have. 1-3 up and down motion is the way to go. a quick "hello" would be 1, a sincere "hello" is 2, and the max is 3.

Double Handshake, Double The Oxytocin

  If you see a politician shake hands with both hands, now you know why. It's releasing double the oxytocin in order to form a stronger bond and to have more respect for each other. Be careful though, Some people think it's too intimate and will "stiffen" in response. 

Going For A Handshake Or A Hug?

  The best way to go about this is to have your right hand in front and you're left out like half a hug as you approach. Doing this has gotten me out of a lot of what could've been awkward moments.

If You Don't Want A Hug

  Put both hands in front of you, palms together and pointed towards the person ahead.

I hope you enjoyed one of my favorite interveiws of Vanessa Van Edwards!