The "Type A" Struggle

Its midnight and I just got back from universal studios. I had to be up at six am and for the life of me could not figure out what I wanted to write about. So here's a quick rundown of the convo I had with myself last night. Overall, I'm confidant and enthusiastic towards life and new ventures. I just end up having moments of self doubt once in a blue moon.

“I have to be up at six am.”

“why am I always so unprepared?”

“Will this program be too hard?”

“What if I'm too immature?”

“What even is maturity?”

“My mom thinks I'm mature lol.”

“My mom thinks I'm going to surprise myself.”

“What if I pick a job I don't like though?”

“Would it be bad to switch my job?”

“Don't fear disappointing people because you took a risk for your own happiness, Mia.”

“This is your life, not anyone else’s.”

“But why do I get so scared of commitment?”

“Maybe I just get too overwhelmed.”

“You're 7 days into daily blogging, thats commitment.”

“Yeah, I just need to get familiar with something new, then I do well.”

“Thats what praxis is gonna be like.”

“Thats whatever my new jobs gonna be like.”

“Thats what life's gonna be like.”

“Stop being so scared.”

“Your not the only person that gets scared. And it doesn't mean your weak.”

Type A's overthink. Theres always a "what if?" And planning 4 months ahead. Its kind of like being a pessimist, but not entirely. I worry about things that don't need to be so overthought. My mind is always buzzing and I can't get away from it. I imagine the movie "inside out" happy and worry are my best friends. One or the other are always on my gears, but never both.

Mia Mason